Fear Sad Glad
In the past four weeks as we started packing up our house to move 5000 miles from Anchorage Alaska back to Nashville Tennessee:
- I had a crazy lady run me off the road, try to run me down when I sought to get her license plate, and then lie to the insurance company and get away with it
- my daughter Jessica graduated from High School in Alaska
- my daughter JennaRae graduated from college in Minnesota
- my family helped stage a semi-surprise visit to Alaska by Josh Patton who asked for my daughter JennaRae's hand in marriage. (September wedding in Nashville).
- I took my youngest son David on a physically demanding and emotionally rich “rite of passage” weekend in the Alaska wild
- my wife Brenda and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary
- my mom had her second heart attack
- and a very close friend who I mentor and who mentors my son Jay was in a serious jet ski accident and was flown to Seattle where he is fighting for his life (Jay was w/ Trevor when it happened and was the one who rushed him to the hospital).
A friend of mine said, “Jeff, that’s a lot!”
I had one day when I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up for a few days. But mostly I’ve just FELT it all. I remember Chip Dodd sharing with me that “what the heart won’t do, the body will do.” If I refuse or deny my fear, I will be anxious. If I refuse or deny my sadness, I will be mired in self-pity. If I refuse or deny my hurt, I will be crushed under the weight of my resentment.
But if I will surrender to my humanity and the neediness exposed by what my heart feels when facing life on life’s terms, I will be led to a needy place that brings me into intimate relationships with others and with a God who embraces my need.